Imagine only visiting someone you love and miss only four times since they left you. You don't visit often for many reasons (rather excuses) but mostly because it's hard. Hard emotionally. When you do go all you remember is the section. The grave number and row are forgotten. Or was it never accepted? So you call the office at least four times since getting off the bus that was the last 45 minutes of a previous two hour commute to get the information. The person answering must think and ask herself after the second time why doesn't she just write it down? The same thought crossed your mind too. You see and approach a grounds worker who ultimately makes the fifth and final call to the same office. Now you have the information you need. It begins to sink in. Hawk's buried between what looks like two on his left, one underneath him, and the other on his right. The one on the right, shares a birthday with him only forty years earlier. Nothing tells you he's there only your vague memory and what the cemetery's office personnel is telling you. Not doubting them, you begin to cry. Cry because 12 years have passed. There is still nothing immortalizing his name or his paternal great grandmother who passed three years earlier. Divorce is a funny thing and how it divides families. Ultimately the children involved are punished. In this case, your son is being punished by being ignored and forgotten because what his paternal grandmother thinks it was her ex-daughter-in-law's fault that she had to leave a marriage. A marriage that was harming her surviving grandson on so many levels. When the daughter-in-law moved on it was because she needed to make clean break. Leave the toxicity that was poisoning her soul, mind, and spirit. The very parts of her that were damaged when you left us before you turned three months old. You may be gone but know you are not forgotten at least not by me or your older brother. I am glad that we went to visit you today even though it took awhile to find you when we first arrived. We agreed to come more often, maybe once a month. Maybe I will be able to find a creative way of marking your site so visitors who come by know someone special resides there.
